Book a call

72. Shoulder Time with Boys

Tess Connolly LCSW talks with Lena Winslow who is an integrative life coach. They talk about how she uses a process called “shoulder time” with her son. They talk about how this works and how you can use the same process to build a connection and trust with your tween and teen sons. 


  • Lena introduces herself and talks about her background, she also shares with us about the work that she does now. 
  • Lena talks about “Shoulder time” and shares with us how she uses it with her son.
  • Tess and Lena discuss the three ways to build trust and connection with your teenage son during shoulder time.
  • Lena talks about the importance of their being movement when connecting with your son by doing an activity such as crazy golf, fishing or a playing catch.  
  • Tess and Lena discuss the importance of allowing our tween and teen sons to hear themselves think and process and for it to come from them. 
  • Lena tells us about what “reflections” means when connecting with our tweens and teens. 
  • Tess and Lena discuss using open ended questions and how this can help with connection.
  • Lena talks about “Encouragement” and how we can use this to build connection. 
  • Tess and Lena talk about how we navigate “silence” when connecting. 
  • Tess and Lena speak about the need to try and “hold the advice” and the benefits of doing this with our children. 
  • Lena and Tess talk about teen boys craving our trust in their abilities and how we navigate this. 
  • Lena speaks about the importance of creating a safe space for a child to express themselves and how it sets up the idea of the door always being open for whatever happens in life for them to come to you. 
  • Lena is most grateful for the process and ability to be inside a learning process, to go through struggles but yet have the belief maintained that there is community and you are not alone and you can persevere and end up serving others and bringing value to something outside of you through struggle. 


Sign up for the Tech Reset Masterclass here:


⭐️Join MKF weekly Parenting  Journal here:  Mindful Kids and Families Journal 

(Get ready for lessons, podcast leads, offers for parents and ways to win free parent coaching or masterclasses)


📧Connect with Therese (Tess) Connolly, LCSW, CCC here: [email protected]




Need 1:1 Support?  Book right here to connect with Tess for a 20 minute FREE “Parent Reset” session:

💫Want support from other parents in an authentic community? Get on the Parenting Reset Membership Waitlist here: The Parenting Reset Membership Waitlist!🙌